Thursday, 21 April 2011

Yippppeeee, I'm on A Roller Coaster Ride.... emotional one....with my son! My boy has been super sensitive lately. Last night while we were walking in a shopping mall; my girl had wanted to hold his hand. He refused and ran off ahead of us, leaving his little sister in tears. So, I nonchalantly said, "Koh Koh is very naughty", and with that I opened up the flood gates on his end as well. Didn't expect that at all. So, Mommy had to deal with 2 crying kids in the middle of One Utama, while Daddy attended to some business with a client. He asked me, in his sobbing state, why I called him 'naughty'. So Mommy explained and then he explained why I shouldn't have called him naughty and yadiyadiyada end of story. This really taught me a lesson to be very careful with what I say now as he is going through a new developmental phase - the emotional kind. So Mommy has to go through a similar developmental mommyhood phase as well - the be-careful-what-you-say-and-do kind. Now I know not to misuse the word 'naughty'. Sometimes these words are used endearingly but to kids his age, it might be difficult to grasp what's endearing and what's not.

My boy is also starting to notice the little (well sometimes not so little) changes in facial expressions and body language. He'd be asking 'Mommy why are you not smiling?'; 'Mommy why do you look sad? and I have to do a lot of explaining. If you read my earlier post Smiley Moments, I'm not a person who has a natural smile on my face (sad but true). For the sake of my kids now, I try to be more aware of my own presence in front of them. Sometimes I'm with them physically but my mind is elsewhere and that's when it shows on my face.

Anger. A mother who has never gotten angry at her kids before, ought to be declared a living saint by the Pope. When I get angry now, my son knows it and in a matter of seconds will ask me "Mommy are you still angry with me?" I make it clear to him that when I'm angry, it's not with him, but with the things he does. I used this analogy with him the other day, that when I'm fuming mad, I'm like hot food, don't go near it until it has cooled down a little. So, he checks on me by asking "Mommy are you still hot?" (I think to myself; "well of course, I'm always a hot mama!"). I'd usually give him a hug and kiss after to tell him that all is good.

I think it's important for kids to know that it's okay to feel and express emotions like sadness and anger. When my son's sad or angry, we talk about it and try to work things out. When he fusses, now that's a different story. I'd explain the situation to him and let him have his time to vent it out. I'm happy to know that he's able to snap out of it after awhile. Mature little fella!

This roller coaster ride is truly a yipppeeee ride, scary at times, always exciting with unexpected twists and turns and definitely a ride of a lifetime!
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