Tuesday, 8 November 2011

How To Be A 4-year-old PITA

By Mymother's Son

Do you remember how you behaved when you were two? Those were great times. I remember those carefree days of throwing tantrums and saying 'No' a lot. Apparently they have named that phase the Terrible Twos for some reason. What most parents do not realise is that those tantrum-throwing days do not have to end at the Terrible Twos. You can relive those good old days when you drove your parents up the wall and to the brink of insanity, even at age 4 and beyond. Want to know how to do it? Just follow these simple steps...
When your parents have planned to take you out, say "No, I don't want to go out."

When your parents have not planned to take you out, say "I want to go out."

When everyone's about to walk out the door to go somewhere, say "I want to play with my toys now."

When you are about to reach home, say "I don't want to go home."

When your parents take you to a restaurant for a meal, say "I don't want to eat here."

When they have ordered something for you to eat, say "I don't want to eat this."

Whatever you do, DO NOT AGREE with your parents.

And when you don't get what you want, scrunch your face up and get ready to cry. Don't cry yet. Let the tears well up first. Be adamant with your demands. Test their patience. When your parents threaten to take away T.V. and computer-playing privileges, CRY. This is the time you relive the Terrible Twos. In fact, let it all out, don't hold anything back. You are not going to get what you want anyway. And, while you're sobbing away and pleading your case, scream "NO! NO! NOooOO!!" for added effect.

So, you would normally not get what you want but you have at least made yourself heard. Your parents would have grown a few extra grey hairs but that's fine, they are growing old anyway. They'll also be asking you "Why are you behaving like this?" and you need only to give them the obvious answer "because I can't get what I want" and make them feel stupid for asking you that question. They will try to explain to you why you can't always get what you want, blah, blah, blah. Just look like you understand. The next time, repeat the steps mentioned above.

And that is how you can achieve PITA status at age 4. Stay tuned for my next article - How To Be A PITA One Minute and An Angel The Next.


Mymother's Son has been a qualified PITA for the past 3 months now. If you like what you read here, follow Mymother's Twitter account or like Mymother's Facebook page. Alternatively you can vote for Mymother's entry over at Lovelinks.

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