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I have a 4-year-old son who is currently attending preschool and a 2-year-old daughter who is being homeschooled (well sorta). I am, pretty much, still spared the whole shebang of a back-to-school fever. So, here, I'll look back at my own memories of going back to school, recalling the emotions I felt. I am after all, still young enough to remember what it was like *ahem*.
1. I hated it.
I did not like school. Especially not after a lengthy holiday. I didn't like having to get up early and get on the school bus. I didn't like the shopping. Shopping for school supplies like text books, uniforms, shoes and stationery only reminded me that my holiday is coming to an end. I remember the feeling of dread a few days before school started.
2. I loved it.
See, I'm confused again. There are things to hate and there are things to love about school. I loved meeting my friends again.....um.....yeah.....I think that's about all that I loved about school.
This memory was of my first day in school. 7 years old. An anti-social child. I was so introverted that my mom thought I was autistic*. I was shy and didn't make friends easily. I didn't like to talk and would be the last person anyone would want to make friends with. So, you could imagine what it's like for a child like me to be in school for the first time - only one word to describe it - terrifying. I remember crying when my mom could no longer accompany me in school. Another word to describe the feeling - horrible.
4. I felt small.
When you're 7 years old, everything seemed so much bigger. I remember my first school had a flight of steps (maybe 10 steps) leading up to the school hall. It looked like this.....
The 272 steps leading up to
Batu Caves, Malaysia
5. I felt lost.
Going back to a new school term meant being in a new class, having new teachers and learning new subjects. I'd feel so lost especially in the first week of starting school.
7. I was homesick.
I felt homesick when I was studying for my degree in a university that was 5 hours away from my hometown. I felt the same feeling of dread having to go back there. Only, it was worse because I was away from my family and my husband (then boyfriend).
8. I felt independent.
Although homesick, there was a sense of freedom and independence the moment I settled into my room in university. Having to do everything on my own felt liberating to a certain extent.
9. I was excited.
This was when I first started Form Six (highschool) in a boy's school. Since starting school at age 7, I have studied in two all-girls school. So, you can imagine the excitement I felt, being 18 with raging hormones, starting school in a boy's school. To be honest, it was exciting and a little scary at the same time.
There was only one year in my entire schooling life, that I remember going back to school happy. That year was my second year of Form Six. That was the year I went back as a couple with my future husband. Yup, a boy made me love school.
*I am not being insensitive to those with Autism or to those who have autistic children as this is a true statement. My mom can attest to that.
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