Monday, 23 July 2012

Of Poop And Puke

Yes, I'm going to write about disgusting things that come out of us.

Once upon a night, we had dinner at a popular pizza joint in our neighbourhood. It was a nice dinner of pizza, pasta and lumpy mushroom soup. I ate more than I should that night.

Just as we finished dinner, the son said he had to pee. I couldn't just let him pee by the side of the table or into an empty bottle, so I took him to the washroom in the restaurant, where he could do it decently.

The son opened the door of the first cubicle and stopped short of entering it. Instead he stood there, pointed at the cubicle and said something like "nngyeh" (yeah, I know, sounds foreign to me too). So I asked him "Why? What?.." and he pointed again and said "nngyeh"...again.

I would forever regret the next thing I did, which was to take a look into that cubicle.

I'd describe it as disgusting but even "disgusting" is an understatement. It was the worst ever toilet scene I've been so unfortunate to encounter. EVER! I was horrified! There was poop and there was puke. A lot of 'em. I mean, wha...how...WHY?! It haunted me the rest of the night. And now everytime I have to use the public toilet, that scene would flash across my mind. I might have developed a mild case of lutropublicaphobia.

So when I told the hubs about it in the car on our way back, he went "Aiyee... aiyee... eww...." Then you know what he asked me? "Where exactly was the puke?" Which actually led to a discussion about what could have happened in there. We kinda did a little CSI (without the samples of course) and came up with these theories -

Theory 1: This person (God bless her gut) had severe food poisoning and everything just exploded out of both ends. Then she lost her ability to flush.

Theory 2: Person A pooped and obviously didn't flush. Person B came along, saw said poop and then....puked.

And here's giving her the benefit of the doubt...

Theory 3: She made a mess and found that there was no water supply to clear it up.

Hmmm...makes you wonder doesn't it?

I need to say a prayer now...

Thank you Lord for clean toilets and civic-minded people who flush and 'clean up their act' in public toilets. Thank you Lord for motherhood and all those butt-washing, potty-cleaning and diaper-changing sessions with my kids. For if it weren't for them, I would have thrown up my gut and added on to that puke-pile. Amen.

Let me illustrate what I saw. I didn't have my handy-dandy camera with me at that moment or I would have been able to furnish you with more disgusting images.

Nngyeh.

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